This week has been about being on this journey of life, all the while having pain. There have been times in my journey when I slept 23 hours a day. Now, I may never have been a big marathon runner, but I’m pretty sure you don’t get far sleeping that much of the day away. I mean, if I knew Aesop it would have been the Tortoise, the Hare, and the Lump. The Lump doesn’t win either. I mean, it’s one thing to be the Tortoise and take it slow and steady, it’s another to be the Lump and take it…well, not at all. Even now I find I may need recuperation days, sometimes a whole weekend, to be able to stand without my whole body going into spasms. So in those times when we can’t do anything, nothing at all, are we still on our journey? Do we have to be physical to be truly “active”?
I had to learn very early on that a man is not his job. Long before I was disabled, I walked away from a career I thought I was made for, but could no longer do. It was my wife who taught me that there is more to a man than what he does; what he is can do anything for a job. Years later, that concept was truly put to the test. After I blew out my back, there were days when I had to actually grieve for my body. I had to let go of what was, and find something to hang my manhood on. One thing that didn’t bother me was God’s role in all of this. I knew the Lord was in control and I didn’t blame Him for my situation; I just couldn’t believe that I had no role in this now. During those early days, my wife would tell people about my pain but that I was okay; just waiting on the Lord and staying in His Word and praying (when I was awake enough). They would get in touch with me, or just talk to her, and tell us they were “inspired”. I’m not sure I understand even now, but it seems that I was helping others by being okay with where I was in life. As it turns out, I was on my journey. Apparently, we are able to follow the Lord’s plan without actually moving. How about you? Does not moving make you feel like you’re not doing? Have you grieved for what was? Do you recognize how the Lord is using you right now?