All this week we talked about my own experience with medication for my chronic pain. It was a rollercoaster ride to be sure, but yesterday I said that I found what truly works for me; the Duragesic Patch. To finally find something that worked was an answer to my, and my wife’s, prayers. That was roughly four years, one electric stimulation trial, ten acupuncture treatments, and one surgery ago. So why bring up my whirlwind medication issues now? Three reasons really. First, I still had to use one of the oxy’s, either oxycodone or oxycontin, for the first few years until I had my surgery. So although it helped greatly, I found that I couldn’t use it solo for a while. Second, I now find myself in the awful position of the patch not working. Well, it only works for 48 out of the requisite 72 hours. Doctors and insurance frown on prescribing it more often the every three days. Will I have to divorce the patch?!? Then, there is the worse part of working with and through medication.
When your body is wracked with pain and medication has a hold on your mind, your spirit has little chance of making a connection with God on any level other than the base, three word prayer, “God, help me.” Now, intellectually I have no doubt that God hears that prayer as He does all prayer. I am confident that He hears the prayers of the Holy Spirit, in groans and utterances we don’t understand, said on our behalf. Somehow, that is small solace when we are unable to enjoy that connection with the Almighty. Why is it that when we so need to have that peace beyond understanding, it escapes us? Why does the medicine that is suppose to help us, also blind our spirit? Sometimes I believe the pain in its entirety at least keeps me clear enough for prayer, real prayer. The problem is I can do little else without medication. What’s a broken, sinful, man to do? Only what we can. I have to remember that we cannot surprise God. Sometimes, when I’m throwing my pity party, I forget that I am where He wants me. I just have to remain faithful, to let people know that even now I am His and will walk the path set before me with great joy. So the final question of the week is, “How do you connect with God when you’re under the influence of medication?” How about you? Do you feel like you have a full prayer life? Do you feel like the medicine you need, is also the medicine you would rather do without? Has your road to finding the right medicine put you off the road of your faith? Have a blessed weekend and remember I’m here; you are not alone.